Asperger's Syndrome Diagnosis possibly removed!

For those of you who read my blog and whose children have been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, some new information has been brought to my attention. I have done some checking and after receiving an e-mail from Mason's psychiatrist who gave him his diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome I have learned that it is true. It has been proposed by the American Psyciatric Association that Asperger's Syndrome be removed from the list as a diagnosis. While this was upsetting to me at first. I did some more checking and although it will sadden me that I will be no longer be able to call my son an aspie, I do believe this change is for the best. I believe it will enable our children to recieve better care and services in the long run. Please be aware that is change is not official yet only proposed. When I hear if it has been made official I will let everyone know. If you would like more information please visit the link below or contact your mental health professional.

http://http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2695965/dsmv_aspergers_syndrome_to_be_eliminated.html?cat=5

I Smell Panic in the Air...

Frustration is upon me. I have been patiently sitting by the phone for two and half weeks now. Mason's EEG showed abnormal almost four weeks ago. Like usual, the behavior pediatrician who gave me the results couldn't or wouldn't shed any light on the current situation. All that was said was that the EEG showed slowing of brain activity. Like any parent would, I asked what that could mean. The answer I was given was quite ambiguous. I was told it could be any number of brain disorders and that Mason would be referred to a neurologist at Cooks Childrens Hospital. After much prying they still couldn't give me an idea at what could be going on. I said thanks and simply hung up the phone. On second thought, thanks for nothing.

As parents, when we hear news that there is a problem we instinctivly ask questions right away. After all we are concerned about what we just heard. We are trained on instict. The doctors, however, are trained on vague. What we are really fishing for is a list. A list of possible diagnosis so we can go home and spend the next 48 hours on google and web md.

Is it going to solve the problem? No. Is it going to answer any more questions that we have? No. If anything it will put more questions in our heads. But what it is going to do is at least make us feel like we aren't sitting around on our thumbs doing nothing. It will give us at least something to work with. Give us ideas about what we should ask when we do go on to the next step.

Tomorrow I will call and find out why I still don't have an appointment for a referral yet. And write a letter to every med school suggesting they make a new class for people who want to become doctors. They should call it Pathology of Panic 101.

Gotta Laugh When You Need to Cry..

Today my son reminded me that nothing I own is sacred. After my husband and I spent a ridiculous amount of money on a new surround sound system for the living room. We sat all of our children down and explained to them once again that the items on the entertainment center were off limits. Recently the children have been doing good at remembering what is okay for them to touch and what isn't. It is taking work but they are learning.

This morning as I got out of the shower my Jenna bean came running up to me. "Mama mama," she said. "Mason stuck a toy in the hole." My first thought was what now. Apparently, when you become a parent showering in peace is not part of the agreement. I asked her to show me what hole she was talking about. She ran in to the living room and pointed at the sub woofer that went to the new surround sound system and told me "Mason put Pinocchio in the hole."

I sighed and grinned when I realized that Pinocchio would forever be deaf!

Once again I managed to make myself laugh when I wanted to cry.

Don't be a hater.....

I was recently surfing the web in a desperate search for other bloggers like myself. While looking to connect with other parents of Autistic kids I came across a blog one which gave a two-fold reaction. For privacy sake, I will not disclose any information about the blog only that the person writing the blog, while I felt they had good intentions by asking hard questions, they needed to be made aware that what they had to say was coming across quite offensive and insensitive to some parents of Autistic children.

I was offended mostly about this person saying they were upset at having to deal with Aspie children...a term which may I remind people is not appropriate to use in reference to someone elses child. Used around people you are not familiar with can be construed as rude. I would not advise using the word Aspie in general conversation unless talking about your own child.

One of the things that upset me the most was the comment about how the parents of these Autistic children are letting their kids slide on their behaviors. That they are rude and she would tell her children to ignore them or stay away from them. How it isn't fair that she has taught her children how to behavior socially exceptable and its not fair that parents of Aspies let them get away with inappropriate behaviors.

First of all, She has no right to comment on the raising of children she knows nothing about. Secondly, They absolutely should be shown leiniency on their inappropriate behaviors. Would you punish a crippled child for falling if they don't have full use of their legs?

I am saddened by this persons close mindedness and wonder exactly what kind of values of tolerance she is instilling in her own children.

For those of you who might not understand where I am coming from. I would like to share a story with you. I got a call from the school one morning. The call simply stated that Mason had lied to his teacher. The school has a very annoying habit of calling everytime that Mason has an "off" day and asks the same question. "Has Mason had his medicine today?" The obvious answer: Yes. He has it every morning. Apparently, they believe that medication makes perfect little robot children. Boy do they need to wake up and smell the Focalin. Mason was having an "off" day and the teacher asked him if he had had his medicine that morning, which he had. Mason told his teacher that the doctor told mommy he didn't need to take it anymore. Obviously by now you have figured out that this wasn't true. A normal parent would punish their child for lying. I simply told the school I would speak to Mason about it. When Mason got home I sat him down and talked with him about what had happened. After listening to what he had to say. I solved the mystery of the lie. The day before I had taken Mason to the pediatrician. He had a chronic cough that got worse and I was afraid he would need antibiotics. In a conversation between Mason's doctor and I, the doctor stated that Mason didn't need any medicine for the cough. In Mason's head all he heard was the doctor telling me he didn't need any medicine. Of course I explained to Mason his mistake and we are working on understanding how not to take things out of context.

My question to all of you is should the child be punished for the act without considering the intent?

I know that the this person won't be the last sort of ignorance I will come across. I will have to put up with different kinds of narrow minded people who will critcize how I raise my child. My advice, confront these people like I choose to. With the grace and dignity. To those who don't have a child like mine please remember. It could be you in my shoes. Think about that next time you tell your child to ignore children who are different they they are.

Ignorance breeds intolerance.

The Elephant in the Room...

I have noticed that people are always eager to talk about everything that is good and positive about raising a disabled child, people are often reluctant talk about things that are harder to bring out in the open. One of the main things being the stress it puts on a marriage.

Raising children is hard enough in a nuclear family, in our case we have a blended family situation. Which is difficult under normal circumstances, in our case of his, hers, and ours I have a child from a previous marriage who is Autistic, a stepson from my husbands first marriage who we recently got custody of, and a four year old daughter who is ours.

A situation arose this weekend that made me think how being a parent is a learning process and how it is not always black and white. This situation involved a conflict between the two boys, one which my husband and I immediately took opposing sides on. I assume you guess what ensued next..something in the realm of World War III. I felt he wasn't taking it serious enough he thought I was taking it too serious. Never a good combination if you ask me.

When the storm subsided, I started to wonder how many other couples like us are having the exact same problem. As a mother of a disabled child, I have to be honest and say that even though we as parents try to be equal I believe it is human nature to be more protective of the child we view as being more in need. To most this would be the youngest. For some it would be a child with a disability. Even though I understand that being overprotective would be doing Mason a huge disservice. I can't turn of that inside me which makes me want to protect him from everyone no matter if it be adults or other children.

I am not sure of everything. I know that I will make a mess of mistakes as a parent before it is all said and done. I know that I don't have all the answers. I don't believe that I have to. I do believe that what we all need is better understanding of conflict resolution.

Pretty much how not to ignore the elephant in the room.