Mason and Mommy

Mason and Mommy

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Its that time of year again....

Yes ladies and gentlemen it is that time of year again. It is time for the 2011 West Texas Walk for Autism.

Believe it or not I am not as prepared this year as I was last year. So much has gone on. But Mason and I will be there with bells on.

And hopefully, I can coerce a few of my closest friends to come along with me.

Wish us luck......Goofy pictures to follow.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Security Blanket....

It has been a while since my last post. During this time the children and I have made some changes.

The kids have started a new school as well as mommy has started a new job. Jenna Bean has started girl scouts. With each of these changes I find that I as a person have sought new coping mechanisms. Whether it be setting time aside in my day to read a new book, or forcing myself to socialize with those around me when what I really want to do is bury my head in the sand.

I have found myself seeking guidance through prayer more and more these past few months. Using that as my own personal security blanket. Telling myself that God has a plan for all things. Even if I don't understand what that plan is. I have to remind myself in his time. Not mine.

As I write these words I realize that I was struggling not just with my security, but Mason's as well. While he struggles with how to relate to others and would rather stay isolated where he feels comfortable. I keep asking myself which is right? To let him stay isolated as not to cause him stress. Or to push him. To make him uneasy knowing that he has to learn to cope with change somehow. I think the answer is somewhere in the middle. Letting him retreat away from the world is not going to do him any favors. While pushing him into uneasy situations which cause him too much stress is not the answer either.

I think about how God pushes us sometimes subtly. Sometimes not so much. But he is always there when we fall. That is how I want to be there for my children.

Thursday, September 23, 2010


Earlier I asked "Now that we are grown, where do we turn when things in the night scare us?"

There are many places we as grown-ups turn to for comfort. Today I turned to God. Since 4 a.m, after my "monster" went bump, I sent up little prayers all throughout the day. I prayed for my child as well as myself. I prayed and asked the Lord to chase away today's monster from underneath my bed. I asked him to give me answers but also to provide the strength to deal with the answers I would receive no matter what they might be.

On the drive to Weatherford to see my parents, I prayed. On the drive to Cook's, I prayed. In the waiting room, I prayed. When the Neurologist told me that my son would be fine and that his "abnormal" EEG was normal as far as autistic children went, I felt a sigh of relief.

But that wasn't all the Lord showed me today. While my father prayed over our table at the restaurant, I said my own prayer. I thanked my personal monster-chaser for looking out for my child and for me, but not just for that.

I thanked him for reminding me that my child was beautifully and wonderfully made.

Just the way God intended him to be.

Things that go bump in the night!

As children we were always afraid of things that go bump in the night. The monster under the bed. The nightmare that plagued us. Most of us knew where to turn when the things in the dark scared us. We cried out for mom and dad and they would come running. They would turn on the light and check the bed and the closet and tell you that there is nothing to be scared of in the dark. Sometimes they would even let us crawl in between with teddy.

Now that we are grown, where do we turn when things in the night scare us?

With Masons neurology appointment looming over my head, I went to sleep last night with stress and worry on my mind. Running through my head was all of the not so good things that could come. As a child would, I had a nightmare and for someone who hardly ever dreams it was very strange to me. I awoke in the middle of the night sobbing with tears running down my face. Needless to say when I realized it was a dream I felt a little foolish. However it didn't make the possibility of the nightmare becoming real go away. Although most don't admit it, I venture to say that most parents at one time or another have felt the fear of the nightmare coming true.

Although the things that go "bump" for us are not the same as when we were children. That feeling is still the same.

We will soon to be heading out to face "my" monster under the bed.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Confessions of a Stressed Out Mom!

Shaving my legs is no longer routine...Its a feat in and of itself.

Retail therapy is usually followed by shopper's remorse.

My coffee should be administered intravenously.

No matter what I named my kids they insist on changing it to "hungry".

Having kids means agreeing to give up things you used to cherish: i.e Sanity and Sleep. Yes. I had to Google those words.

When I tell my kids "To get the lead is secretly a pep talk to myself."

Whoever said a Dr. Pepper and a milky way wasn't for breakfast.....

My type of insanity is so genetic..sorry kids.

When checking out at the grocery store....I blame the open box of fruit snacks on my kids when it was really me.

Taking the kids to school in my P.J's had better be socially acceptable. If I don't make it out alive I want to be comfortable at least.

Partly Cloudy with a Chance of Frazzled...

Although my blogivation has been somewhat dampened as of late, I feel the sudden urge to unload the craziness that has been the first few weeks of school for Mr. Mas and I.

Recently, we have moved to a new town ten miles away from where we used to live. This means a new school, new teacher, and new principal for Mas and Jenna Bean. I had a sit down with the principal at registration and explained to her about Mason's condition. She assured me that there were several other students in their school dealing with the same and that they were very capable of adjusting to Mason's needs. I found out very quickly that they were not. Just in the past couple of weeks, I have had phone call after phone call about Mason. Anything from telling me Mason was sent to the principals office cause he won't listen to the teacher to asking me if he has had his medications. The latter conversation ended in them telling me that they would prefer if the nurse gave Mason his meds in the morning. That way they could have something to show Mason when he gets confused on whether or not he had taken it that morning. Translation: They were accusing me of not giving it to him. While that in itself was enough to make me lose my cool, then the ARD meeting took place. Let me tell you it wasn't much better.

His teacher is quite obviously not equipped to handle Mason. While I informed them that Mason needs patience and understanding he also needs a firm hand. Give Mason and inch and he takes the entire state. In the meeting, it was discussed that they would wait and see if Mason would continue in mainstream education or if he would be removed to Resource. I have one comment to that. OVER MY DEAD BODY! It was also said that they didn't have an aid for Mason yet I am constantly getting calls and even letter telling me that his teacher can't handle his behaviors. In fact today I received a letter from the principal. In it she stated that Mason ran from his teacher and out of the classroom and away from his teacher and she informed me that this was dangerous and disrespectful. I am wondering whether or not she even listened to a word I said in our initial meeting. I stressed the point of Mason's elopement issues. For those of you who don't know what that is, Elopement is when some Autistic children feel the impulse to run or wander off. Oh and with it she most graciously included a Disciplinary Action to go in Mason's file. I was also told that they were reducing Mason's work load after I specifically said that I didn't want that. That teaching Mason that he doesn't have to do the work like all the other children is not what I want him to learn. Mason is capable of doing it and he should do it. His challenges shouldn't be a crutch to where he thinks he should be held to lower standards than the rest of his peers. I want Mason to overcome challenges not bend to them. An idea which apparently eludes them. I don't care what is easiest on the school. Only what helps Mason succeed.

While I understand that raising special needs children come with challenges. I find my self walking that thin line between Advocate and Tyrant. It is quite obvious that his teacher has no idea what she is doing with regards to Mason. That she needs and aid or Mason is never going to make it through the school year. It looks like I will be preparing for battle once again.

To top it all off, Mason goes to the Neurologist at Cook's on Thursday. I am terrified. I don't know what I am more scared of, not getting any answers, or getting the answers I don't want to hear.

There is something ominous in the air. A storm cloud brewing up ahead and once again my forecast is partly cloudy with a chance of frazzled.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Asperger's Syndrome Diagnosis possibly removed!

For those of you who read my blog and whose children have been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, some new information has been brought to my attention. I have done some checking and after receiving an e-mail from Mason's psychiatrist who gave him his diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome I have learned that it is true. It has been proposed by the American Psyciatric Association that Asperger's Syndrome be removed from the list as a diagnosis. While this was upsetting to me at first. I did some more checking and although it will sadden me that I will be no longer be able to call my son an aspie, I do believe this change is for the best. I believe it will enable our children to recieve better care and services in the long run. Please be aware that is change is not official yet only proposed. When I hear if it has been made official I will let everyone know. If you would like more information please visit the link below or contact your mental health professional.


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